提意见不得罪人

字幕原文

Telling someone something they don't want to hear 跟别人说他们不爱听的话，

is one of the hardest things in any relationship. 是任何一段关系里最难的事情之一。

For a long time I avoided it completely, 很长一段时间里，我都在彻底逃避这件事，

letting small problems grow because I was afraid of the conflict. 因为害怕冲突，只能任由小问题越变越大。

But avoiding it never actually helped anyone. 但逃避其实对谁都没有真正的好处。

What I've slowly learned is that honesty and kindness aren't opposites. 后来我慢慢明白，坦诚和善良并不是对立的。

The trick is to make it clear you're on their side. 诀窍在于，要让他们清楚你是站在他们这边的。

I focus on the specific thing, not the person. 我只针对具体的事情，不针对人。

I say what I noticed, not what I assume they are. 我只说我看到的具体情况，而不是凭主观给对方下定论。

And I always start from the fact 而且我始终都有一个出发点，

that I want things to go well for them. 那就是我真心希望他们一切都好。

When people feel that you're criticizing the problem, 当人们觉得你只是在针对问题本身，

not attacking them, they can actually hear you. 而不是在人身攻击时，他们才真正能听得进去。

Hard truths land far better when they're wrapped in obvious goodwill. 逆耳的真话只要包裹着显而易见的善意，就会容易让人接受得多。