委婉拒绝

字幕原文

There's an art to saying no without making someone feel rejected, 拒绝别人还不让人觉得受冷落，其实是门学问，

and it took me years to learn it. 我花了好几年才摸索明白。

For a long time I thought honesty meant being blunt. 有很长一段时间，我都以为坦率就得直来直去。

If I didn't want to do something, 要是我不想做某件事，

I'd just say no, flatly, and wonder why people seemed hurt. 就会直接一口回绝，然后还纳闷人家怎么看起来被伤到了。

But I've learned that how you decline matters 但后来我懂得，拒绝的方式

as much as the answer itself. 和拒绝的结果本身一样重要。

Now I try to say no to the request 现在我尽量只拒绝那个请求，

while saying yes to the person. 但依然对人保持认可。

Something like, I can't make it this time, 比如这样说：‘这次我真去不了，

but I'd really love to see you soon. 但过阵子我真的很想跟你见一面。’

You acknowledge them, you leave the door open, 你顾及了对方的感受，留了余地，

you make it clear the no 也把态度表明了：你的拒绝

is about the thing, not about them. 只是对事，而不是对人。

It costs me nothing extra, just a few kinder words. 这并不需要多大成本，无非是多说几句暖心的话，

And it's saved more than one friendship. 却挽救了不止一段友谊。